I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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