anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i now understand why vodka
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize