Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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