don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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