But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
