So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
