You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
