so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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