that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
