I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize