How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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