So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
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It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
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That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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