It's like God shit irony all over that family
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
