Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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