I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
There r osticjed everywhere
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
