I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
