Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Never joke about your clitoris.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
