I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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