Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
