Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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