how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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