It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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