If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
