HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I need a beard to bite.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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