talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
