first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
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