My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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