You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
