You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
