After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
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