i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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