How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
