Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
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The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
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sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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