My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
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