Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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