Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
