rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Do plants get herpes?
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