i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
