I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize