she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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