ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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