The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I would fuck him just for his dog
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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