Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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