Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
