I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize