You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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