i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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