Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
