wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
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If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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