No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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