About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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