You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I love you.
Bad choice
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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