dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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