Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
