The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
