Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
