I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He? As in you personified your dick?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?