haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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