i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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