Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
