I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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